Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Get Over It! Overcoming Your Resistance to Personal Success



What's going on?

You've done it all. The affirmations. The meditations. You've drawn up you list of goals and created your vision board. But nothing seems to be happening! "What," you ask yourself, "am I doing wrong?" You may feel discouraged. You may even feel that it's time to give up.


But hold on! A few simple insights may help you finally overcome those blocks to personal success that have been holding you back.

Let's take a look.

First of all, it's important to understand exactly where these personal blocks come from. Then we'll suggest five ways to overcome them once and for all.

The sources of resistance or personal blocks are essentially self-protective mechanisms. It is really important that you "get" that before moving on. There is a part of you that is very concerned with protecting you. This anxious hidden presence is constantly fretting that change is bad, that no matter how grim things may seem now, change will only make it worse. This fretful voice is quick to remind you of all your past mistakes and lost causes are proof that anything you do will only bring disaster. Although you may not recognize this part of you right away, it is without doubt your most potent source of resistance and the chief explanation behind your blocks to personal success.

OK. So you have a neurotic little stowaway troll that is keeping you stuck. What do you do about it? Here are five things you can do right now. Expect immediate results.

First, be grateful. Yes, that's right. Stop calling this part of you names (like "neurotic troll") and recognize that like it or not, this voice within you cares deeply about you and wants to protect you from all possible harm. Your expressions of gratitude will let this part of you know that it's being heard (or at least listened to), and it will soon begin to loosen its grip.

Second, "re-frame" these blocks to success. Instead of seeing them as problems or personal defects, see them as indicators that help you measure your progress. No Olympic athlete would ever expect to get the gold without overcoming obstacles along the way. See your blocks as benchmarks on your road to success.

Third, define them. Describe these personal blocks. Write them down. Clearly. What you understand fully is always less frightening than something that is vague and shadowy. Once you have done this, you will have a list things for you to work on that will have incredible leverage. Work away at this list and you will find your personal success becoming more tangible every day.

Fourth, create a list of specific daily actions that will help you demonstrate to yourself that these blocks are illusions. For example, if you believe that you can't achieve success because you are not a "people person," give yourself a goal of going out and striking up a conversation with a stranger. And do it today! It doesn't doesn't have to be much: just ask someone for the time. Even this will show you that you can do it. Start there and build daily toward more significant demonstrations that your fear of relating to others is not real.

Fifth, and finally, work on your "self talk." When you approach a new situation, what do you tell yourself? Do you say that it's scary and threatening? Try changing that to "What can I learn from this?" or "What opportunity does this situation have for me right here right now?" Techniques such as self-hypnosis can be a great help here. I have included a few of programs that I use and value highly in the links list to the left. Try them out. Some have free trial periods. If they work for you, make them a daily habit.

Overcoming blocks to personal success, getting past "stuck," is a universal phenomenon. Equally universal, time-tested, and reliable, are techniques such as the ones I have described above.

The journey to fulfillment and personal success is your journey. The blocks and experiences of resistance are merely milestones along the way, showing you how far you have come.

No comments:

What You Will Find Here

Welcome to "Old Dogs...New Tricks"

I have created this site as online resource and--I hope--a community of support for those navigating the often turbulent passage through midlife.

This blog is primarily an anthology of articles on the topic of midlife transformation, which I will eventually compile into a book. I have also included links to other online resources that I have personally found helpful, and a bookstore ("The Dog Pound") with links to books, DVDs, etc. that you can purchase from Amazon.com. Proceeds from these purchases helps keep this site going, so...thanks!.

My hope is that this site will provide you with support and useful tools that you will find helpful. Also, we would be very happy to hear your feedback and any suggestion you may have for other resources not yet included here.

And, finally, if you have your own story to share, please let me know. We would be delighted to include stories from our visitors: both here and in future publications online and in print.