Old Dogs...New Tricks

A Young Man as Inspired as he is Inspiring

2009-08-07T10:17:00.000-07:00

I am writing this entry because I am so moved by the example of one of my students, a 22 year-old young adult with Cerebral Palsy named James Lacerenza. So moved, in fact, that I signed on to help him to reach his goal of raising $16,000 for the Muscular Distrophy Telethon on September 6 and 7.

As of August 7, working alone, though sheer passion and determination, James has put together $15,770. A mere two hundred and thirty dollars more will put him over the top...That's 46 people pledging $5.00 each.

We are hoping that you will consider joining us in this small fund-raising effort, that will make a big impact on the lives of children suffering from this crippling, sometimes fatal disease.

As some of you may know, I am a teacher. Currently, I work with an adult literacy program that, in addition to its regular program, offers a job skills / job readiness program to urban youth. James came to my class this summer and has inpired us all with his story.

Here is an exerpt from his website, where he speaks about who he is and what he's accomplished so far.

My name is James Lacerenza. I am currently a junior at the University of Connecticut, and I have cerebral palsy.

I have been a volunteer for the Westchester County, NY / Fairfield County, CT chapter of the Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA) since 1999. Since then, I have become a district supervisor for the organization, volunteering annually at my local Jerry Lewis Telethon pledge center, answering phones every Labor Day Weekend, and organizing the Shamrocks Against Dystrophy campaign [which sends] children to an MDA Summer Camp.

For the past two years, I've been privileged enough to be invited to the camp site in Spring Valley, NY What I saw there moved me to tears. Children who were literally dying now were living. And smiling. And not complaining that they had an incurable disease...

I knew then that I had to send every child to camp in 2008, and beyond, until a cure was found.

Over the past several months, James has approached every friend and classmate he knows. He has introduced himself to friends of friends, business colleagues, even strangers and with every conversation, he has shared his vision for helping these children. But he's reached the end of his personal list and is still a couple of hundred dollars short.

If you can find it in your heart to pledge $5.00 to James' cause, and pass the word to others in your own network, we can help him reach his goal.

You can make your tax-deductible gift though Jame's website. Make sure to read his full story on his My Story page. I'm sure you will be impressed by the determination of this young man and the example he sets for us all.

Thank you so much for your consideration.

John Lord
Personal Coach

Nowhere is Somewhere to Begin

2008-07-01T10:13:00.000-07:00

Most of us who are passing through midlife, will at times find ourselves feeling a little lost. Not a good feeling. We seem to be able to make no headway, and at every step we run up against another obstacle, another frustrating detour, more time wasted. We get discouraged, and at times like these it may be very difficult to see in our experience anything really positive. Nevertheless, as we all know in our heart of hearts, it all depends on how we look at things.

What's needed is a vision check.

First of all, it's important to see and really "get" the distinction "resistance." Resistance is not mere difficulty. There's nothing wrong with difficulty which is often a natural part of any developmental change. An athlete getting into shape experiences difficulty, even pain, as she strengthens muscles and increases her stamina. Anyone learning a language knows how difficult it can be. There's nothing wrong with difficulty per se.

Resistance is also not the same thing as prudent caution. We may be tempted to try something that poses some level of risk or danger which it is simply not in our best interest to assume. Not acting in such conditions is just plain smart.

No, resistance, in the context of personal development, is a fear-based response to natural growth and positive change. It indicates that there is some new direction opening before us or some important action or decision to be made which we resist because we fear the loss of the familiar. And this is true, even if the familiar is something that no longer serves us.

To place this in the context of the Law of Attraction, the Universe always knows the best, fastest and most efficient way to deliver what we attract. There is a part of us that knows, that just knows, where the path to abundance lies and where it leads. There is another part of us, or many parts of us, that can't see or don't want to see anything other than what is already known and "under control." This is true even if our present reality is disintegrating around us. We are like castaways on a tiny island that the sea is slowly but inexorably swallowing up. We would rather climb to the top of the one remaining palm tree, then step into the boat that is waiting on the shore. And precisely because we are confused and immobilized through this inner conflict, the Universe delivers to more confusion and more conflict. We attract what we think--and feel--about.

But the truth is that Nowhere, if nothing else, is somewhere to begin, for here we are invited to face our fears and work though our resistance, and by doing so find the way forward. Growth, we learn, often follows the path not of the least but of greatest resistance. But even the greatest source of resistance only has the power we lend it. That power is ours to revoke any time we please.

Here's what you'll need to move from Nowhere to Somewhere.

First, accept that you are spending a little time in the wilderness. Understand and be grateful that during this period of seeming inaction, there are forces at work that are actively seeking the road ahead.

Second, take a clear objective look at what you are afraid of. How many of those fears are based on any actual risk? How much of your current anxiety is just and only that, mere anxiety. Then look behind the fear. Are you afraid of really committing yourself to a new job, a new relationship, or a move to a new part of the world? What are you really afraid of. It could be that what is keeping you immobilized is that you worry you won't be able to live up to the opportunities that are being presented to you. If so, read on.

Third, align yourself with those who can support you. Most importantly, find those voices within yourself that champion your own success. Let them form the basis of your supportive community. Listen politely to your inner critics (otherwise they'll cause havoc!) and accept anything helpful that they may have to offer, but don't let them deter you.

Then find yourself a supportive community out there in the world. Join a Mastermind group, or if you can't find one, start one. Get yourself a coach or subscribe to one of the many valuable online programs. I personally have benefited greatly from the program developed by Bob Doyle, one Law of Attraction coaches featured in the movie The Secret. His website contains enough material for a dozen transformations, and includes links to others who offer more. There's more than enough help out there for anyone in any circumstance.

Just remember, even if you are now in the desert, even if now you have no idea what to do, where to go, or even what you want, calm your fears, pay attention to your own inner wisdom, find your mentors and traveling companions, and expect to see the road opening ahead. It's there already.

Your Heroic Journey: Becoming the Creator of Your Own Life Story

2008-06-24T11:08:00.001-07:00

I have always been attracted to the idea that one's life is a story, one in which you are both author and protagonist. What I have learned is that this perspective is more than a literary fancy. It actually provides a perspective and a set of tools that can greatly facilitate personal transformation at any stage of life, and especially so at midlife.

Let's look at this a little more closely.

First of all, if you are the author of your own life, then the narrative is always and only in your hands. You may, of course, be influenced by others, just as one author often inadvertently echoes the theme and style of another. But ultimately, the creative decisions are yours; you decide what gets in and what stays out, you decide how any particular event is to be portrayed or understood.

Second, a narrative approach to one's own life gives you the chance to re-evaluate the role played by the inevitable difficulties life entails. No author would ever attempt to write a story without conflict. Who would read it? What would keep the story going? As author of your life-story, you are free to take the position that things don't "happen to you." They are "written in" as a plot device to keep the action moving toward its final resolution.

And third, the resolution remains in your hands as well. This is as true of any episode in the unfolding story as is of the story as a whole. Aristotle said that no life can be pronounced good or bad until it has reached its end. This is because until the very last line is written, the possibility of transformation or redemption remains.

Let's say you are struggling through midlife. Perhaps you have a string of so-called "failures" behind you: perhaps a career that never got under way, or a string of failed relationships. What will you, as the consummate novelist you are, do with this material? How will your hero (that's you, remember) finally respond? Think about it. This is the stuff of great drama! No one becomes a hero without slaying a few dragons, and your life has graciously supplied all the challenges you need to now demonstrate your true heroic nature.

In fact, the moment when you feel the most thoroughly beaten down is precisely the moment of greatest dramatic and transformational potential. Here is the crisis, the point of greatest emotional tension (that's a literary definition, by the way), when your hero, propelled by narrative energy, experiences breakthrough and transformation.

Now this transformation can take many forms. So you need to ask yourself: What kind of story are you writing yourself into? A comedy, which in the classical sense means a story where the world after crisis and transformation is a happy one? Or a tragedy, where the transformed world is sad, broken but still noble and ennobling?

It's up to you...and only you. Which will you choose? But remember, where there's life, there's hope. While you're still writing, you can still write a happy ending.

Here are some books that will help you write your saga:

The Story of Your Life: Becoming the Author of Your Experience, by Mandy Aftel
The Story of Your Life, by Dan Wakefield
The Hero's Journey, A Guide to Literature and Life, by Reg Harris

Two other resources that have been very helpful to me and may be to you as well include the following:

The first is the DVD series The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Bill Moyers interviews with mythologist Joseph Campbell (or read Campbell's book by the same name if you're up for a project).
My final recommendation is personal and probably pretty idiosyncratic. This is J.R.R. Tolkien's essay entitled "On Faerie Tales." Not only is this the first and greatest essay on what has sadly come to be regarded as children's literature, but, in his epilogue, Tolkien makes the connection between story, happy endings and his own deeply held religious faith. This is not for everyone, but some will some will find it pure Elven healing magic.

A Late Starter's Guide to Building Wealth

2008-06-23T12:26:00.001-07:00

Let's get right down to business.

You've had a full life. You've done many of the things you wanted. You are rich in experiences, friends and wisdom. But you're in your fifties (give or take a decade) and you're just scraping by financially.

If this picture is even close, read on.

The good news is that even starting late in life, you CAN transform your financial situation, build wealth, and create for yourself a secure, even abundant, future. It will take work, and it will take time. So don't be tempted by any "get rich quick," schemes. Focus on the basics, get started, stay positive, and enjoy the ride.

Here are three things you can do right away.

1, Find your personal finance guru and study everything he or she has to say. In this case. I would strongly recommend David Bach's "Start Late, Finish Rich." It presents a clear, program for taking action to turn your financial situation around. Furthermore, and perhaps even more important,the author is completely positive about your chances of success and includes examples and case studies of other who have done what you are trying to do.

Another good author on the topic is Robert Kiyosaki, whose own story exemplifies the late start turnaround phenomenon. Start with "Rich Dad, Poor Dad," and then check out his "Cash Flow Quadrant."

2. Simplify, Simplify, Simplify! Your campaign for financial transformation is going to require your focused attention. Clear personal space from any distractions (and here I mean both your physical and mental space). Set up a working office. Deal with whatever financial problems you can and put them behind you. Contact creditors to let them know you intend to honor your commitments (assuming you can!). Insulate yourself from all negative influences including friends and family who, while meaning to express their care and concern for you, actually make you more anxious not less.

Coach yourself and support yourself with positive self-talk. If you have to, take more direct action to dispel fear and maintain a positive attitude. Self-hypnosis and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) can be very helpful here. If you need extra help in this area, find yourself a personal coach. Try www.coachville.com for leads and references.

Finally, build a supportive community. Find others who are working toward the same goal. These may be networks of friends, or those you meet in Internet forums or chat rooms. There is great power in a group. If you can't find such a community, start one! It's that important.

3. Explore Non-Traditional Business Models. If you are starting late, you're going to need to adopt a non-conventional strategy for building wealth and achieving financial freedom. Fortunately, there are many, now proven, techniques. They're no easier than the traditional 9-5, and some may require you to expand the perimeter of your comfort zone, but they do work.

If you're reading this article, you are at least somewhat familiar with the Internet. Many of these new models harness the power the Internet and its virtually limitless scale and diversity, to make opportunities available at little or no cost. You don't have to go any further than the "Dummies" e-business and e-commerce books, to learn more than you will probably ever need.

Many people cringe at the idea of Network Marketing (or MLM), but there are thousands of millionaires out there with no more brains than you, and who started with as little as you have now, who are cringing no more. There's a story that David Letterman once asked Donald Trump what he would do if he had to begin over again. He said "I would find myself a good MLM company and get to work." The secret here is find a product or service you are passionate about, one that you would want to tell your friends about anyway. Your passion and enthusiasm will not only sell product, it will build you a million dollar sales organization as well.

But whatever strategy you choose, don't delay. Get started now. Starting late does not have to mean finishing broke.

Here's your big chance to have the last laugh!

Get Motivated!...But Learn How First

2008-06-23T09:44:00.000-07:00

Psychologists have been telling us for years that there are two ways we can motivate ourselves. The first is called "motivation toward." The second is "motivation away." These describe a general orientation. In other words, we all use a combination of these "motivation strategies," but each of has a preference, a default strategy, and either, we are told, can be made to work. But when we think about these two types of motivation in the context of the Law of Attraction, there is a critical difference...a difference which makes ALL the difference.

"Motivation toward" is a strategy used by folks who know what they want and who go after it. This is most effective when combined with techniques such as visualization, goal setting and affirmation. Coaches and authors of self-help books going all the way back to the early 1900s agree that having a clear objective is essential to obtaining the things we desire, whether these be material wealth, a fantastic relationship, a new house, a new career...whatever we desire. A clear objective, passionately held, provides both the direction and the energy needed to sustain us over the rough spots. This is "motivation toward."

Those who habitually prefer the other strategy, "motivation away," focus their attention on avoiding the things they DON'T want. Their energy is aroused in response to a perceived threat: a notice of foreclosure, the electric company shutting off the lights, a "serious talk" with the boss. When such things occur, they spring into action and remain active until they have somehow eliminated or reduced the circumstances that threaten them. I know all about "motivation away." For fifty years, it was my usual way of dealing with life. Not acting but reacting. But no more! Here's why.

The Law of Attraction states clearly that "what we think about, we bring about." If you are thinking with focus and passion about the things you want, you draw them to you. BUT...If, instead, you are thinking, worrying, obsessing about the things you DON'T want, you draw them to you as well.

Stop and consider that for a moment.

If, for example, you are worried about no having enough money, if that perhaps is why you're hear reading this, then you are asking for more "no money." Your anxiety about insufficiency is drawing more insufficiency toward you. You will get more of what you don't want, especially if your anxiety is acute, if you're REALLY worried. That extra extra (negative) just makes the process more rapid, more dramatic.

So what do you do?

First, understand the principles of The Law of Attraction. Watching the movie "The Secret" is a simple and user-friendly way to get started. The thinkers, authors and coaches included in the presentation each have their own websites and most have published books or released audios or DVDs. Do an Internet search on The Law of Attraction. In seconds, you will have an abundance of resources. Check the user ratings. There's gold out there!

Second, practice techniques that help you observe and change your habitual "self-talk." I recommend techniques such as NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) of self-hypnosis. Or start a journal or a blog. Get your thoughts out there where you can see them, and then begin to make difference choices. Focus on the positive. I've never met anyone who didn't have something to be happy about, to be grateful for. Shift your attention to these things, and you will find the clouds of stress and anxiety begin to lift.

Study motivation. Here's some titles to get you started.

The Portable Coach, by Thomas Leonard
The 7 Hidden Secrets of Motivation: Unlocking the Genius Within (Your Coach in a Box), audiobook by Todd Beeler
100 Ways To Motivate Yourself: Change Your Life Forever, by Steve Chander
Awaken the giant Within, by Antony Robbins

Here's another tip. Work on your environment. Create a personal space which helps you remain calm and focused. This applies to both your physical space (make your bed!) and your emotional space: stay away from people who bring you down. And don't spend the day watching the news. It's nearly always bad.

To those of you who are blessed with a habitual "motivation toward" strategy, keep up the good work. You are an example. As for the rest of us, we need to stand guard "at the gate of thought," and shift our attention away from what we fear to the abundance we desire.

OK, One More Time...How Does Attraction Work?

2008-06-19T22:11:00.002-07:00

If there is one thing we can all agree on, it's the fact that, given the chance, people like to disagree.

There are some professions and careers that are propelled by disagreement. Lawyers and politicians are obvious examples. Scholars and researchers disagree with their predecessors, write theses and get PhDs. Members of religious factions sometimes take their disagreements to the point of killing or being killed. The list goes on. This contentiousness seems to include almost everyone. It is remarkable, therefore, that for over a hundred years, there has been a near consensus on how a person can attract abundance into their lives From the British author Wallace Wattles writing in the early 1900s, to Napoleon Hill, W. Clement Stone a generation or two later, to those who today are publicizing what is surely the world's worst kept "Secret," the basic principles and practices have remained the same.

Here's my own personal 5 step Cliff Notes summary of how to transform your life by attracting into it all that you desire. This is a blended distillation, combining elements from those listed above and more.

Know what you want
Establish habits of affirmation and visualization
Get enthusiastic--no, make that passionate--about having what you want
Take action
Monitor your thoughts and feelings

Let's look a little closer.

Knowing What You Want. This, actually, is harder for some folks than you might think. Of course, everyone has a ready answer, such as "What I want is a million dollars." But this doesn't tend to work. As Bob Doyle in his excellent online program "Wealth Beyond Reason" has eloquently pointed out, having a million dollars actually doesn't change anything. Money that isn't exchanged for something, is just paper. Better to think beyond the pile of cash, to what the cash can do for you. Even better, is to identify precisely and in detail what your new, abundant, transformed life would actually be like as a lived experience. And by the way, state when you want this transformation to take place. Give yourself just enough time to make it believable, but don't push it too far off into the future. Goals that are too distant are likely to become hazy. They lose their power to motivate because they don't impress themselves sufficiently on your present. Worse, they may even be forgotten.

Establishing Habits of Affirmation and Visualization. This practice is what keeps your vision alive. More important, as Napoleon Hill, Stone, and the presenters in the film "The Secret" all concur, the habitual re-creation in the present of your desired future state actually draws that state towards you, provided--and this is important--that your visualizing and affirming is accompanied by strong emotion. The next topic will provide a few more details on this.

Many people may be uncertain about how to start their routine of visualization and affirmation. Fortunately, there is a wealth of information of the subject. "Creative Visualization; Using the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life," by Shakti Gawain is a classic. It had its 25th anniversary edition 2002...which means the original was published "in the days of the flower power" to use an amusingly inept phrase from Abba. Since then, she has gone on to write other books and workbooks which will certainly be helpful to many. If you feel yourself astrally challenged (I certainly have), you may prefer to begin with "Creative Visualization for Beginners," by Richard Webster. You can then move on to other helpful titles such as "A Practical Guide to Creative Visualization: Manifest Your Desires" by Osborne Phillips and "Create Your Own Affirmations" also by Gawain. (These titles are all available in our online store "The Dog Pound.")

Books in this genre and their authors have been hilariously lampooned by comedians such as Al Franken in his Stuart Smalley persona. This is not wholly unwarranted. There's a lot of new age huckstering still going on out there. All the same as a tool, visualization--along with affirmation, its accompanying discipline--are time tested and ultimately practical. Go ahead and be skeptical, but try it on anyway and see what it has to offer.

Get Passionate About Having What You Want. The idea here is that your emotions charge your thoughts and visions with energy. Throughout the last century, it was taken for granted that this energy was an effective force even though the actual process was not understood. Today, many Law of Attraction mavens are turning to quantum physics to advance the notion that this energy is real and interacts with the vast unbroken field of energy which is the universe at its most fundamental level. What they are saying is that, following the principle of "like attracts like," the energy you infuse into your vision of your desired future actually functions like a magnet pulling that future toward you. Now, a theory is a story someone has mistaken as a fact, but whether you buy this particular explanation or not, it does appear that passionate desire joined with thought is more effective than thought alone. So...get yer geeter heated.

Take Action. Believe it or not, there is actually some debate on this. There are those who think that the Law of Attraction is so powerful and the universe so efficient and economical in the way it delivers, that the actions we take in pursuit of our goals may actually be counter-productive. Saner voices prevail. When you know want, get busy.This is when the left brain comes into its own. Draw up your lists, set deadlines, be S.M.A.R.T. But also be open to the possibility that there may be better ways to get where you're going.

Monitor Your Thoughts and Feelings. Change is difficult. Resistance to change is common. Family, friends and loved ones may be deeply skeptical. But the most powerful source of resistance comes from our own thoughts and feelings. This is especially true with mid-lifers who over the years have deeply ingrained patterns of thought and behavior.

There are two ways that negative thoughts and feelings slow us down--or stop us dead!--in our efforts to change. First, we can talk ourselves out of even trying. We offer ourselves a host of plausible-sounding excuses. We tell ourselves that we're too old or that the risk is too high or that it won't make any difference. Probably, this is nothing more than anxiety-ridden defensiveness. Listen, be grateful...and move on.

But there is another way in which monitoring your thoughts and feelings is vitally important if you subscribe (as I mostly do) to the theory known as The Law of Attraction. Here's how this works.

Thoughts and feelings are energetic. This energy is real, even measurable, and as such it interacts with the energy around us in ways that actually construct our reality. Super-charging our desires with strong emotion makes them more magnetic, more attractive; therefore, it is the power of our emotions rather than our thoughts that brings change about.

So, here's the program.

Find something that you want in your life, something you want passionately.

Keep the vision of your desires vividly present in your mind's eye and burning your heart though the continuous practice of visualization and affirmation.

Take action as co-creator (with the universe, with God, with Whomever or whatever you choose) to bring your desires into tangible reality.

And watch what you think. Make sure that your thoughts and feelings are aligned with where YOU want YOUR life to go.

When you get there, write home. Make ém jealous!

OK, One More Time...How Does Attraction Work?

2008-06-19T22:11:00.001-07:00

If there is one thing we can all agree on, it's the fact that, given the chance, people like to disagree.

There are some professions and careers that are propelled by disagreement. Lawyers and politicians are obvious examples. Scholars and researchers disagree with their predecessors, write theses and get PhDs. Members of religious factions sometimes take their disagreements to the point of killing or being killed. The list goes on. This contentiousness seems to include almost everyone, it is remarkable, therefore, that for over a hundred years, there has been a near consensus on how a person can attract abundance into their lives From the British author Wallace Wattles writing in the early 1900s, to Napoleon Hill, W. Clement Stone a generation or two later, to those who today are publicizing what is surely the world's worst kept "Secret," the basic principles and practices have remained the same.

Here's my own personal 5 step Cliff Note's summary of how to transform your life by attracting all the abundance and prosperity you desire. This is a blended distillation, combining elements of all those listed above.

Know what you want
Establish habits of affirmation and visualization
Get enthusiastic--no, make that passionate--about having what you want
Take action
Monitor your thoughts and feelings

Let's look a little closer.

Knowing What You Want. This, actually, is harder for some folks than you might think. Of course, everyone has a ready answer, such as "What I want is a million dollars." But this doesn't tend to work. As Bob Doyle in his excellent online program "Wealth Beyond Reason" has eloquently pointed out, having a million dollars actually doesn't change anything. Money that isn't exchanged for something, is just paper. Better to think beyond the pile of cash, to what the cash can do for you. Even better, is to identify precisely and in detail what your new, abundant, transformed life would actually be like as a lived experience. And by the way, state when you want this transformation to take place. Give yourself just enough time to make it believable, but push it too far off into the future. Goals that are too distant are likely to become hazy. They lose their power to motivate because they don't impress themselves sufficiently on your present. Worse, they may even be forgotten.

Establishing Habits of Affirmation and Visualization. This practice is what keeps your vision alive. More important, as Napoleon Hill, Stone, and the presenters in the film "The Secret" all concur, the habitual re-creation in the present of your desired future state actually draws that state towards you, provided--and this is important--that your visualizing and affirming is accompanied by strong emotion. The next topic will provide a few more details on this.

Many people may be uncertain about how to start their routine of affirmation and visualization. Fortunately, there is a wealth of information of the subject. "Creative Visualization; Using the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life," by Shakti Gawain had its 25th anniversary edition...which puts the original publication "in the days of the flower power" to use an amusingly inept phrase from Abba. Since then, she has gone on to write other books and workbooks which will certainly be helpful to many. If you feel yourself astrally challenged (I certainly have), you may prefer to begin with "Creative Visualization for Beginners," by Richard Webster. You can then move on to other helpful titles such as "A Practical Guide to Creative Visualization: Manifest Your Desires" by Osborne Phillips and "Create Your Own Affirmations" also by Gawain. (These titles are all available in our online store "The Dog Pound.")

Books in this genre and their authors have been hilariously lampooned by comedians such as Al Franken in his Stuart Smalley persona. This is not wholly unwarranted. There's a lot of new age huckstering still going on out there. All the same, as a tool visualization--along with affirmation, its accompanying activity--are time tested and ultimately practical. Go ahead and be skeptical, but try it on anyway and see what it has to offer.

Get Passionate About Having What You Want. The idea here is that your emotions charge your thoughts and visions with energy. Throughout the last century, it was taken for granted that this energy was an effective force even though the actual process was not understood. Today, many Law of Attraction mavens are turning to quantum physics to advance the notion that this energy is real and interacts with the vast unbroken field of energy which is the universe at its most fundamental level. What they are saying is that, following the principle of "like attracts like," the energy you infuse into your vision of your desired future actually functions like a magnet pulling that future toward you. Now, a theory is a story someone has mistaken as a fact, but whether you buy this particular explanation or not, it does appear that passionate desire joined with thought is more effective than thought alone. So...get yer geeter heated.

Take Action. Believe it or not, there is actually some debate on this. There are those who think that the Law of Attraction is so powerful and the universe so efficient and economical in the way it delivers, that the actions we take in pursuit of our goals may actually be counter-productive. Saner voices prevail. When you know want, get busy.This is when the left brain comes into its own. Draw up your lists, set deadlines, be S.M.A.R.T. But also be open to the possibility that there may be better ways to get where you're going.

Monitor Your Thoughts and Feelings. Change often can feel difficult. Resistance to change is common. Family, friends and loved ones may be deeply skeptical. But the most powerful source of resistance comes from your own thoughts and feelings. This is especially true with mid-lifers who over the years have deeply ingrained patterns of thought and behavior.

There are two ways that negative thoughts and feelings slow us down--or stop us dead!--in our efforts to change. First, we can talk ourselves out of even trying. We offer ourselves a host of plausible-sounding excuses. We tell ourselves that we're too old or that the risk is too high or that it won't make any difference. Probably, this is nothing more than anxiety-ridden defensiveness. Listen, be grateful...and move on.

But there is another way in which monitoring your thoughts and feelings is vitally important if you subscribe (as I mostly do) to the theory known as The Law of Attraction. Here's how this works.

Thoughts and feelings are energetic. This energy is actual, even measurable, and as such it

Review: The Landmark Forum

2008-06-18T09:29:00.000-07:00

This is a tall order: reviewing a program which takes place over an entire weekend and involves hours and hours of conversation. But, for me, as a grateful alumnus, I feel compelled to share what I now know. The Landmark Forum (LF), developed and presented by Landmark Education, is a life-changing experience.

It would be impossible in the space of a short article to describe how the process works; furthermore, I don't feel that would be ethical to divulge Landmark Education's proprietary methodology. What I can share is my own experience and comment on the insights I came away with.

The fundamental issue that an LF weekend examines--or, to be more accurate, the issue I looked at deeply for myself--is the process of story creation and storytelling. Our lives are narratives that we create but which then to some extent create us and our experience. We don't see it, not usually, but everything that arises is given meaning by us and made to fit into the greater, longer narrative we have been creating and living since we could first put words together.

Of course, none of this new. People have been giving meaning to their lives through the telling of stories since the dawn of human civilization, and myths, the greatest of all stories, for many people straddle the line between the line between fact and fiction, art and actuality. For centuries philosophers have told us the same, and, more recently, in the 20th century, great thinkers such as Viktor Frankl have pointed out that meaning-making is the quintessential human activity. But what the Landmark Forum does is to present storytelling in a new light, one that is both more conscious and more critical, and by doing so delivers it into our hands as a tool.

The weekend was intense, beginning on Friday morning and continuing all day and well into the night Friday, Saturday and Sunday and, finally, continuing for a few hours on Tuesday. Over the course of this time, it was evident that everyone who permitted themselves to really engage the process benefited from powerful breakthroughs and profound experiences of personal transformation.

This was certainly true in my case. Recently separated after 22 years of marriage to a woman who deserved much better than she got and leaving behind two beloved children, I arrived at the hotel conference room with an enormous burden of guilt and shame. By the time Sunday rolled around, I knew two things which preserved my sanity and maybe even my life.

First was the lesson that there is nothing more powerful than taking complete responsibility for everything that occurs in one's own experience. By assuming what I now call "radical responsibility," I retain my personal power. How? By avoiding blame. Whenever we blame others, we empower them by making ourselves passive, turning ourselves into victims. Learning this lesson prevented me from making excuses for my own behavior. As a result, I have today an amicable and harmonious relationship with my first wife, which has spared my children a great deal unnecessary further suffering.

Just as important is what I learned about personal integrity. This is fundamental to the program, as it is indeed to life itself. This is not to say that I have consistently upheld a lofty standard of integrity since completing my Landmark Forum weekend. But the standard is there, and knowing that progress toward that ideal is both a safeguard and a basis for happiness keeps me on the right track.

There is much more that could be said, and others just as appreciative as I would perhaps say different things. But this, I hope, will give you a glimpse of what this powerful program has to offer. I have no hesitation in recommending that you invest both the time and the money required.

Go with an open mind...and be fulfilled.

Your Thoughts: Prison or Paradise?

2008-06-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

Fifty-six thousand.

That's how many thoughts a reasonably thoughtful person will think each day. (I didn't sit around counting. This comes from the National Science Foundation.)

So you have to ask yourself: "How many of these thoughts are actually under my control?" Or perhaps even more important: "How often am I myself actually controlled by these thoughts...many of which remain unconscious?"

The answers to these questions have serious implications.

First of all, most of our thinking functions on auto-pilot, producing a constant stream of background chatter of which we are only half aware. But that doesn't mean it produces no effect. On the contrary, the current of these thoughts, like a current of electricity, charges our lives with positive or negative energy. These states tend to be self-perpetuating. If we are feeling anxious we tend to continue being anxious unless we take some action to change our thinking and state of mind. Fortunately, it works the other way around: happiness begets more happiness, although often it seems that this condition is more delicate.

Secondly, our thoughts do more than condition our experience; they actually construct our world. And the effects of this mental construction become more pronounced as we mature. By mid-life many people are actually hemmed by a thicket of thoughts, opinions, and prejudices. The objective world--to the extent that there is one--is made to conform to constructs fashioned decades earlier, and anything that doesn't fit is either unseen or is seen and rejected. And because the contemporary world increasingly fails to correspond to our preconceived notions of what "ought to be," we may be tempted to retreat into a smaller and smaller space where we try to console ourselves with the memories of things past. Will it work? Yes, after a fashion, but we pay a heavy price for our imprisonment.

What about a jail-break? Is it possible?

Yes.

The good news is that this entire process can be reversed. We can quite easily uncoil our thoughts and open them--and ourselves--to the world around us. Doing so requires only two things: the intention to do so, and a technique.

The intention I leave up to you...your choice.

As for the technique, you have many options. A religious person may turn to his or her faith. Even so, other hands-on options exist. I specifically recommend techniques that deal directly with the content of our thinking. Self-hypnosis and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) are both excellent tools. Another terrific resource is the weekend introductory program offered by Landmark Education. This program creates the opportunity for you to look critically at the stories you tell about your life and whether they limit or liberate you. If you have the time--and the money--you can pack a whole lot of transformation into just a couple of days. (For more information, check the list of links on the left side of this page, or visit our online store, "The Dog Pound."

But whichever path you choose, remember your thoughts pave the way: either to a world that continually opens to novelty and enJOYment, or one that shrinks in around you.

It's worth thinking about.

Tools, Tools and More Tools

2008-06-17T11:21:00.001-07:00

Here's some good news.

Anyone these days who is interested in making changes--even big changes--in their lives, can take advantage of an abundance of resources that is greater than at any time in history. From books to DVDs to website (free and paid). from online coaches to weekend seminars, there is a wealth of tools available suited to any personality and budget.

It will be my commitment on this site to find and share as much information as I can about the programs and recourses I discover. Not everything will right for you, but you can be sure that with a little patience, you will find just the thing to make all the difference. So check out our online store and visit the pages on our links list, read the articles in our Newsreel feed. Let me know what you think.

And listen, if you come across something that should be included here, let us know...from one old dog to another.

Happy hunting.

Get Over It! Overcoming Your Resistance to Personal Success

2008-06-17T08:42:00.000-07:00

What's going on?

You've done it all. The affirmations. The meditations. You've drawn up you list of goals and created your vision board. But nothing seems to be happening! "What," you ask yourself, "am I doing wrong?" You may feel discouraged. You may even feel that it's time to give up.

But hold on! A few simple insights may help you finally overcome those blocks to personal success that have been holding you back.

Let's take a look.

First of all, it's important to understand exactly where these personal blocks come from. Then we'll suggest five ways to overcome them once and for all.

The sources of resistance or personal blocks are essentially self-protective mechanisms. It is really important that you "get" that before moving on. There is a part of you that is very concerned with protecting you. This anxious hidden presence is constantly fretting that change is bad, that no matter how grim things may seem now, change will only make it worse. This fretful voice is quick to remind you of all your past mistakes and lost causes are proof that anything you do will only bring disaster. Although you may not recognize this part of you right away, it is without doubt your most potent source of resistance and the chief explanation behind your blocks to personal success.

OK. So you have a neurotic little stowaway troll that is keeping you stuck. What do you do about it? Here are five things you can do right now. Expect immediate results.

First, be grateful. Yes, that's right. Stop calling this part of you names (like "neurotic troll") and recognize that like it or not, this voice within you cares deeply about you and wants to protect you from all possible harm. Your expressions of gratitude will let this part of you know that it's being heard (or at least listened to), and it will soon begin to loosen its grip.

Second, "re-frame" these blocks to success. Instead of seeing them as problems or personal defects, see them as indicators that help you measure your progress. No Olympic athlete would ever expect to get the gold without overcoming obstacles along the way. See your blocks as benchmarks on your road to success.

Third, define them. Describe these personal blocks. Write them down. Clearly. What you understand fully is always less frightening than something that is vague and shadowy. Once you have done this, you will have a list things for you to work on that will have incredible leverage. Work away at this list and you will find your personal success becoming more tangible every day.

Fourth, create a list of specific daily actions that will help you demonstrate to yourself that these blocks are illusions. For example, if you believe that you can't achieve success because you are not a "people person," give yourself a goal of going out and striking up a conversation with a stranger. And do it today! It doesn't doesn't have to be much: just ask someone for the time. Even this will show you that you can do it. Start there and build daily toward more significant demonstrations that your fear of relating to others is not real.

Fifth, and finally, work on your "self talk." When you approach a new situation, what do you tell yourself? Do you say that it's scary and threatening? Try changing that to "What can I learn from this?" or "What opportunity does this situation have for me right here right now?" Techniques such as self-hypnosis can be a great help here. I have included a few of programs that I use and value highly in the links list to the left. Try them out. Some have free trial periods. If they work for you, make them a daily habit.

Overcoming blocks to personal success, getting past "stuck," is a universal phenomenon. Equally universal, time-tested, and reliable, are techniques such as the ones I have described above.

The journey to fulfillment and personal success is your journey. The blocks and experiences of resistance are merely milestones along the way, showing you how far you have come.

Growl

2008-05-29T08:03:00.000-07:00

Claustrophobia.

No one likes to feel boxed in. Not by poverty. Not by a dead-end job. Not by their relationships.

Most of all, there is the bridling against the closing circle of time. That's the one that chafes the most.

Sadly, in the face of these, we begin to believe the very things we most want to resist. We begin to believe that it's too late to change. That things are as they are and no amount of effort---and certainly no amount of complaining--is going to change anything very much.

Well, I don't buy it.

Things can change. They change all the time. And complaining isn't all bad either. In fact, it may be the beginning of wisdom. A good, clear, passionate protest articulates what we resist, what we oppose.

It's the old dog's growl.

When we're backed into a corner, we old dogs know it's time to fight.